Making decisions for others SUCKS!

Forgive my description but there's not many better ways to put it, though there are some worse.

A few years ago one of my cats had cancer in one of her eyes; I had the choice to leave it alone and hope for the best or have her eye removed and hope it hadn't spread so she could live a long and happy life.  I cried and cried, I love Curlie and having to make a decision for something that couldn't speak for itself was overwhelming. 

In the end I had the eye removed and all is well now with our little pirate but now I am having to make decisions for someone even more important...my daughter.

Should I give her medicine?  How will it affect her long-term?  Am I taking the right road on this?  Should I go with what the doctor says or trust my Mom instinct?  What if she gets bullied at school?  Am I protecting her too much?  Not enough?

Then when you add in all of the advice I'm getting from others--don't get me wrong, many friends have been so wonderful in sharing this road with me but they can only go so far.  They may suggest a path to take but I have to go down the path that I choose by myself and it's a hard road.

And let's not forget the "Internet doctors".  the people who say do this and that and don't do this and that.  The latest is that Coke Zero causes cancer, great now I'm killing my child that way. 

It's a constant battle, one where I wonder daily if I'm being a good Mom, blaming myself for things.  Crying because I lost it and yelled at her, I know she can't always help it but I'm tired.  It's nice to hear from friends who have "been there, done that" that encourage me but sometimes it's hard to hear the good over all of the bad.

I don't do a lot of Internet research because of so much inaccuracy out there and really, things that are okay today they'll find killed people later.  Sure, I'll research on some reputable sites to learn some basic things but I listen to my pediatrician and have to follow my gut.

Making decisions for someone who can't make their own...not something anyone wants to do but as parents we must do it daily.  We can only hope that we are doing the best...and that that insurance will cover their counseling once they start finding out all of our mistakes.