Letting Amelia be herself

For Christmas I wanted to get something special for Ms. Rachel, Amelia’s trainer at LearningRx.  After conferring with my friend who owns Too Dark Motorsports, we came up with an idea.  She made an ornament that said “Ms. Rachel-Thank you for being you and letting me be me”.  Amelia wrote her name on the back and we presented it to Ms. Rachel along with a gift card.

You see, when I was considering putting Amelia into the LearningRx program one of my fears was that she would lose that big personality.  Sometimes that big personality can make me crazy, the drama from that child wears me out.  But her personality is what makes her.  The blunt comments, funny things she says, her big imagination and doing the voices of Mickey Mouse and all of his friends—I love that so much!  There have been a few embarrassing things said and done, but what child doesn’t do that to their parents?

Someone once told me that we all have to conform…OUCH!  That one gets me, I’ve never been one to really conform.  I can get along with most anyone and can smooze the best of them, but conform I do not.  While sometimes it can be painful, I would be so miserable conforming to what people seem to want me to be.  I want Amelia to be strong and true to herself as well, so anything I can do to let her be herself I encourage.

That’s one reason I love Ms. Rachel; not only does she let Amelia be Amelia but she loves exactly who she is!  She just giggles at Amelia’s nuances, she will usually call Ms. Ali into the room so she can hear what Amelia did.  Ms. Ali is the person that assigns the trainers to students and she’s become quite fond of Amelia as well.  They both do so much for my heart, to hear them say they love being with Amelia and how they tell friends and family of her latest silliness. 

I know that once Amelia starts kindergarten at school things may not be as easy but for now having these ladies be part of our lives is a blessing. 

Thank you Ms. Rachel and Ms. Ali for bringing a smile to my face and joy to Amelia every week!

A teacher we all want for our kids

As I read all of the stories from Connecticut and the horrible shooting at an elementary school, one thing comes to mind:  I pray so hard for Amelia to have incredible teachers like some of these kids had.

From my first post you can see that I’ve seen some of the “bad apples” of teachers, I’ve heard of those that always complain about Amelia not being still, talking too much, but then I hear about a teacher protecting her class from a murderous monster telling them “I need you to know that I love you”.  Wow!  In what had to be the most terrifying moment she knew the words that would comfort those babies.  She became a parental figure when their parents couldn’t be there and gave them the utmost love and respect, disregarding her own welfare.

That’s the teacher that I want for Amelia, I know they are out there.  Sure, we all have bad days and working with all of those kids has to be the hardest and most unrewarding job there is, I know I couldn’t do it.  But Kaitlin Roig chose this career path and gives it all she can, she loves “her kids” and teaches them the most important lesson we can hope for:  love.

I am saddened by the loss of those sweet children and wonderful staff and I hope that Ms. Roig can go back to teaching, she gives us parents hope.  Hope that in the worst of circumstances when we can’t be there to hold them that they are loved.

Thank you to those teachers for that hope.

A little bit of freedom

Sometimes as a Mom it’s tough to let go, to let your child do something without you, especially when they are fussing about it.  But the last few weeks had been pretty tough at LearningRx, she wanted me in the room with her and just wouldn’t behave.  I needed a break and to read a book or something while she was in her class but there was none of that.  So after speaking with her teacher Rachel and the director Donesa, we decided that I needed to leave her there.  I would tell her I was going to the store and would bring back an Icee for her, it would give them a little more control and give me a break.  It was not going over well with her when we told her, she said I couldn’t leave but I did and walked to the store.  When I came back I watched her on the video camera and she was having a blast, doing exactly what Ms. Rachel told her and learning!  The last few sessions I’ve done this over again and it’s only gotten better, Wednesday was her best session yet. I may have to buy stock in Icee though.

I’ve learned that I have to break OUR separation anxiety and she can grow more, I know she’s in good hands and if I have any question there’s a video camera to check.  I’ve said it before, LearningRx is teaching Amelia skills to deal with life and is teaching me how to be a better Mom.

Now, if I could just bring myself to leave her with a babysitter again… 

Learning how to parent

We all know that parenting doesn’t come with a handbook and it’s tough to know what to do sometimes (well, most of the time). I feel like a lot of times I over-compensate with Amelia because I’m terrible at working on stopping poor behavior. Sure, there are typical kid things but we have to teach our kids how to function in society and how Amelia talks to me is really something I have to work on.

Well today I had my 6 week evaluation with LearningRx and I am so excited with some of the tips that Donesa gave me. First, can you believe it’s already been 6 weeks??!! And Amelia is doing so well, they are very happy with her progress. But I still have to work on her rhythm which is interesting for me. But more on to the tips. Donesa has really given me some great advice, including taking the “The 5 languages of Love” quiz for kids, it will help me learn how to reward her best. She also helped me come up with some great ideas for a reward system; while my treasure chest is great, kids get bored easily and it needs to be switched up sometimes. One idea she gave me, that I will be using, is the Chuck E. Cheese reward system. Now you know I’m not a fan of the place but Amelia is so I’m going to get a Chuck E. Cheese bank and some of their coins, when it gets filled to a certain point she will get to go or perhaps we’ll go once a month and whatever coins she has earned she will get to us. No coins? No trip!

Donesa suggested that I give some to them to give LearningRx and perhaps pre-school as well, when she doesn’t go in time out there then she gets to bring home a coin for her bank. I think I’m going to let LearningRx keep going on the current reward system because she’s pretty excited about earning things there but I’ll talk to her teacher more about it tonight.

I will also be doing a chart for what I expect from Amelia, no more than 3 things can be on the chart and they must be clearly defined. I have to learn to limit choices, it shows Amelia that I’m the authoritarian, she still gets her own choice but she knows that I’m in charge.

Once a reward system starts losing its effectiveness then I’ll change it to another one. I still have to take this all in and hope that I’m doing it right but I’ll get there. I do love that Amelia isn’t losing her spunk with this program, she can still be as fun as ever but is learning things that will make it easier for her in school.

Another great tip that Donesa gave me to help Amelia with her fine motor skills:

Get some small fish tank rocks (the tiny ones so that if she, or hopefully the cats, swallow one it goes straight through), some tweezers and some cups and let her sort the colors of the rocks. Right now she’s still learning how to hold her pencil so this should help greatly. I can’t wait to try this!

I have a lot of homework this week for myself but I see a great relationship with my daughter coming from it!

Maybe it's time for Mom to learn some things

We've had a couple of short weeks at LearningRx due to Amelia being sick and some other events going on but she is still doing well. 

So far Amelia is already holding her pencil better and is doing great at her directions (left, right, up, down).  She does write pretty big and we are trying to teach her to control that but it will come.  Oh and she's even doing better on her rhythm!  Now that's pretty awesome!  Probably the biggest thing is her inability to focus on one thing too long. 

Ms. Rachel has been so patient not only with Amelia but with me as well.  She is teaching me that we don't have to sit at the kitchen table for an hour to do homework but I can incorporate it into every day things.  I thought I was doing it before but now I can really help "train her brain". 

Amelia likes to count so when we are going places she counts until we get there, I'm proud to say that the other day she counted to 109!!  I was amazed.  I did have to help her a little but for 4 years old I was amazed.



On another note, the other day I was talking to someone about Amelia and why I have her in LearningRx.  They told me about their God-daughter who was having trouble and that my blog really was such a close description to her.  I encourage every parent to fight for their children, those big personalities are a gift and will take them far in life.

Part of the reason I want to do this now is after doing an article on parents who home schooled their children I realized that could be my child.  I realize that teachers have their hands full but I want Amelia to never feel left out in school and to not get the best she can there.

So while it's a lot of extra for me right now, I am so proud of all that my girl is doing, she is amazing!


And now a bragging moment:

Amelia's daycare is raising money for MDA.  On the way home from school I was explaining to her that the money raised is for sick children and she said that she could take money from her jug and put it in the box for the sick kids.  Talk about a proud mommy moment!  When we got home she was so excited, first she wanted to put in "a hundred" (coins) and then decided to put them all in.

I know I'm not such a bad Mom now, I can help her grow into the amazing adult she will be!