Learning how to parent

We all know that parenting doesn’t come with a handbook and it’s tough to know what to do sometimes (well, most of the time). I feel like a lot of times I over-compensate with Amelia because I’m terrible at working on stopping poor behavior. Sure, there are typical kid things but we have to teach our kids how to function in society and how Amelia talks to me is really something I have to work on.

Well today I had my 6 week evaluation with LearningRx and I am so excited with some of the tips that Donesa gave me. First, can you believe it’s already been 6 weeks??!! And Amelia is doing so well, they are very happy with her progress. But I still have to work on her rhythm which is interesting for me. But more on to the tips. Donesa has really given me some great advice, including taking the “The 5 languages of Love” quiz for kids, it will help me learn how to reward her best. She also helped me come up with some great ideas for a reward system; while my treasure chest is great, kids get bored easily and it needs to be switched up sometimes. One idea she gave me, that I will be using, is the Chuck E. Cheese reward system. Now you know I’m not a fan of the place but Amelia is so I’m going to get a Chuck E. Cheese bank and some of their coins, when it gets filled to a certain point she will get to go or perhaps we’ll go once a month and whatever coins she has earned she will get to us. No coins? No trip!

Donesa suggested that I give some to them to give LearningRx and perhaps pre-school as well, when she doesn’t go in time out there then she gets to bring home a coin for her bank. I think I’m going to let LearningRx keep going on the current reward system because she’s pretty excited about earning things there but I’ll talk to her teacher more about it tonight.

I will also be doing a chart for what I expect from Amelia, no more than 3 things can be on the chart and they must be clearly defined. I have to learn to limit choices, it shows Amelia that I’m the authoritarian, she still gets her own choice but she knows that I’m in charge.

Once a reward system starts losing its effectiveness then I’ll change it to another one. I still have to take this all in and hope that I’m doing it right but I’ll get there. I do love that Amelia isn’t losing her spunk with this program, she can still be as fun as ever but is learning things that will make it easier for her in school.

Another great tip that Donesa gave me to help Amelia with her fine motor skills:

Get some small fish tank rocks (the tiny ones so that if she, or hopefully the cats, swallow one it goes straight through), some tweezers and some cups and let her sort the colors of the rocks. Right now she’s still learning how to hold her pencil so this should help greatly. I can’t wait to try this!

I have a lot of homework this week for myself but I see a great relationship with my daughter coming from it!

Maybe it's time for Mom to learn some things

We've had a couple of short weeks at LearningRx due to Amelia being sick and some other events going on but she is still doing well. 

So far Amelia is already holding her pencil better and is doing great at her directions (left, right, up, down).  She does write pretty big and we are trying to teach her to control that but it will come.  Oh and she's even doing better on her rhythm!  Now that's pretty awesome!  Probably the biggest thing is her inability to focus on one thing too long. 

Ms. Rachel has been so patient not only with Amelia but with me as well.  She is teaching me that we don't have to sit at the kitchen table for an hour to do homework but I can incorporate it into every day things.  I thought I was doing it before but now I can really help "train her brain". 

Amelia likes to count so when we are going places she counts until we get there, I'm proud to say that the other day she counted to 109!!  I was amazed.  I did have to help her a little but for 4 years old I was amazed.



On another note, the other day I was talking to someone about Amelia and why I have her in LearningRx.  They told me about their God-daughter who was having trouble and that my blog really was such a close description to her.  I encourage every parent to fight for their children, those big personalities are a gift and will take them far in life.

Part of the reason I want to do this now is after doing an article on parents who home schooled their children I realized that could be my child.  I realize that teachers have their hands full but I want Amelia to never feel left out in school and to not get the best she can there.

So while it's a lot of extra for me right now, I am so proud of all that my girl is doing, she is amazing!


And now a bragging moment:

Amelia's daycare is raising money for MDA.  On the way home from school I was explaining to her that the money raised is for sick children and she said that she could take money from her jug and put it in the box for the sick kids.  Talk about a proud mommy moment!  When we got home she was so excited, first she wanted to put in "a hundred" (coins) and then decided to put them all in.

I know I'm not such a bad Mom now, I can help her grow into the amazing adult she will be!

But I don't want to do homework!

The second week of training at LearningRx went great, Amelia was so excited to go see Ms. Rachel and stayed an hour and a half both nights!  She is loving it and has a great time learning.

Last week was a little rough.  On Wednesday I decided to go run errands while she was in class, telling her was probably a bad idea though.  Ms. Rachel had to call me because Amelia was acting up so I headed back.  After a bit of convincing she ended up doing about an hour and 15 minutes and did okay.

After that we went to Chick-Fil-A as her reward but I noticed something was wrong, turns out she had a fever and in the end was diagnosed with Croup.  So we missed Thursdays class and the big Carnival they were doing on Friday.  She's better now so we are both looking forward to class tomorrow night.

So, here's the thing...I never liked homework.  I didn't like it when it was mine and I don't like it when it's hers BUT it's part of the deal, it's in the agreement that I signed.  Now obviously a 4 year olds work isn't hard but working 2 jobs, classes 3 nights a week and then homework is tough. 

Fortunately Ms. Rachel is great at working with me too!  She explained that they don't expect us to sit down for an hour at night and do homework but to be creative.  So we do directions in the car, write "letters" to help her learn to hold her pencil and are learning rhythm with her stuffed "friends".  Rhythm is a bit of a challenge to me, I'm not know to be the most coordinated person but it turns out funny.

So while I don't enjoy homework of any sort, the fact is that I need to get used to it because she'll be going to kindergarten soon and at least for now, this is fun.  And I'll do anything to help my child succeed, which is why I'm doing LearningRx, do it now and she'll benefit for life!

A great week!

Last week was a pretty awesome week.  We started training at LearningRx and I'll share how that went in a little bit but I want to tell you about everything else first.

Amelia has been getting in trouble a lot at school, we're talking time out multiple times a day and it was really wearing on me.  So I told her if she made it a whole week without going in time out that I would get her this movie she had been wanting.  The first week was a fail but last week was much better. 

One day when I picked her up the teacher stopped to tell me about something that happened.  The teacher had told all of the kids to pick up the books and none did, except...AMELIA!  I was so proud of my baby.  So she made it the whole week and on Friday was a very happy little girl!



As I mentioned in last weeks update she started her classes at LearningRx last week.  I told you about how the first night was okay but a little rough, well night 2 went much better!  Her Dad stayed with her and when I didn't hear I called to check and he said she was still in class--she stayed a little over an hour!  I was one proud Mom! 

We received her homework and it's been a little rough but I got in about 20 minutes tonight.  She does get frustrated but I'm grateful that LearningRx is so patient with the kids and knows that it takes time.


On another note, if you remember when I first started this blog I shared about the judgements that I felt from a Grandmother.  Well, we've been in another gymnastics class with one of her friends from dance class and her Grandmother brings her.  She knows a little about Amelia taking classes and such and this past Friday leaned over and told me that she was praying for me because I wasn't alone.  When her son was young she would be lucky if he slept 3 hours a night. 

It meant more to me than she'll ever know and that I can put into words.  It just takes one show of support to counter the negative. 

I'm learning that positive reinforcement and rewarding hard work is okay, it's even recommended by her pediatrician.  She knows that she has to earn those rewards and they can be very small and inexpensive things.  She loves earning "gold doubloons" to get something out of the "treasure chest" and rubber duckies and and stickers are her favorites. 

I know every week may not be this awesome but every small step counts.

And the classes begin...

Well tonight was our first class at LearningRx and we made it a whole 35 minutes! 

Amelia was so excited to see Ms. Rachel that when we got there she kept asking everyone if they were Rachel. 

They went to the back and things were going well.  They were going over colors and writing "A".  After a bit Amelia got a little bit wild and Rachel told her to write the "a" in the block and Amelia said that was it, she was done.  They came out front and Amelia told me it was "too much".  Thankfully Ms. Donesa (the director) came out and said 35 minutes is good for 4 years old and tomorrow we'll go for 45. 

Of course, Amelia told me that she didn't want to go back but she does want to win her prize so I think we'll get her back once she gets a good nights sleep.

When we got home things went downhill.  I couldn't sit with her because, as usual, I came home to chaos and had to handle all of that.  Finally she started kicking, hitting and screaming at me so I had to put her to bed.  We had a Supernanny time where I kept having to put her back in bed..again, and again, and again times 10!

I was thinking maybe she's upset that I couldn't sit with her, maybe it's because she didn't sleep well last night.  Then as I was venting on Facebook my friend posted this:

"my wise sister told me when youngsters exercise their brains(milestone type growth)- behavior regresses. Aka Her class tonight made a breakthrough so she's gonna give mommy hell ._."

Maybe she's right, and if so then the next few weeks will be a lot of hell but if it's for the greater good of helping Amelia grow into the amazing person that I know she can be, then it's worth it.